Sibling Heirarchy

In many Filipino homes, a certain hierarchy denotes sibling nomenclature. The eldest brother is called Kuya in many Tagalog homes. The eldest sister is called Ate. But are these terms Filipino? Arsenio Manuel, states that the word Kuya came from two Chinese terms: "ko" to denote elder brother, and "a" as a word modifier that denotes kinship. Thus what we believe to be a honorific Tagalog kinship title is actually derived from Chinese.

Respected Eldest Brother: Kuya
Many families retain strong Chinese influences and these are seen in how family members address each other in specific terms denoting gender and birth order. Kuya is reserved for the oldest brother. However, nowadays, with the widespread use of honorific kinship titles, Kuya has become a generic term for an elder brother, not necessarily the eldest.

A study of many Filipino families with Chinese antecedents can be very informative. For example, former President Corazon Aquino was born a Conjuangco. Her great grandfather was an eldest brother as discerned from the honorific title "Co" in the family clan name. For that matter, any Filipino Chinese patronymic name that begins with "Co" as in "Coseteng" or "Cu" as in "Cutiongco," indicates a family branch from the eldest son.

Respected Second Oldest Brother: Diko
The second "di" brother "ko" becomes Diko. Names and nicknames do not follow these kinship terms because they are self-explanatory and superfluous. Filipino Chinese patronymic names that begin with "Di" indicate a clan that derived from a cadet branch of the family belonging to the second son in a Chinese clan. Examples from my own circle of friends are "Dichoso, Dyliangco, and Diyco." Come to think of it, these friends of mine indeed have stereotypic Chinese features: porcelain skin, almond eyes, sharp nose.

Ordinal Counts in Chinese
By now we have learned the units of ordinal counting in Chinese. It is Co for first, Di for second, and now we have Sang, for third. Therefore, Sangko is third older brother. Fourth elder brother is Siko. Co, Di, Sang, Si. The "ko" at the end of the ordinal count for second, third and fourth stands for the modifier "brother."

For the females, Ko is simply replaced by Chi. Thus the eldest sister is Achi or atse (as used in Pampanga) or Ate as used in Tagalog provinces. The second older sister is "Di" plus "Chi" or Ditse. In my family the second elder sister is called Dete. The third elder sister is Sanse, and the fourth elder sister is Sitse.

In a Filipino family with nine children of four brothers and four sisters plus the bunso (also called the runt), there is a sociologically structural kinship implication of who has clout. It is abundantly clear who kowtows to everyone else and who carries the commensurate power and prestige among the hierarchy of siblings.

The Youngest Sibling
In Filipino families, the elder brothers and sisters are to be respected always. The amount of deference and respect is directly proportional to his/her ordinal position in the sibling constellation. But there is something disarming in all these Kuya and Ate syndrome. The youngest in the family is seldom punished. Instead, he or she is benignantly tolerated to the point of being spoiled.

While there is a title reserved for the eldest child, these is also a Chinese term reserved fro the youngest boy:totoy. The literal translation for this term is "the foolish son." Several variations appear in the Filipno family: ato, atoy, toto, ito, itoy, doy. As the term Kuya infers authority and responsibility, the term totoy infers a license to boyish mischievousness. Among the girls, the youngest term is nene, in Chinese, the literal meaning is "the dull one." Variants are neneng, ineng, ine, inday, day.

Make no mistake. Filipino families do not call their youngest siblings the foolish one or the dull one. These name handles are in fact terms of endearments. The youngest kids normally get away with everything. Heck, once you have produced that many children, taught them deference to authority through an accident of birth and honorific birth-order titles, your best bet is on the youngest one, who is expected to shower the parents with loving care in their doting years.

The following article is written by Penelope V. Flores, Ph.D. - San Francisco State University professor.