Simple Ways To Enhance Any Discussion

1) Explore points of difference. When we disagree with someone, we typically try to convince the other person of our point of view or we clam up about our true feelings in order to be agreeable. Good conversationalists explore their points of difference with other people. This opens up new avenues of discussion and sometimes changes attitudes. People are more open to other opinions when they don't have to defend their own forcefully.

2) Build on point of agreement. Use areas of agreement to stimulate further discussion and speculation. When the other person says something you agree with, develop that point by telling a story from your own life experiences or contributing facts and figures that support the point.

3) Find new twists on standard openers. Instead of just asking, "What do you do?" you may follow it up with, "What surprised you most about your current job?" or "What do you wish more people understood about your work?" Also, be prepared to answer the, "What do you do?" question in an interesting way.

4) Learn to listen. Most of us don't listen very well. We are too busy composing our next response or impatiently waiting for our turn to speak. Jumping in too abruptly breaks the other person's train of thought. It also suggests that you think your ideas are more important than the other person's.

5) Ask playful, open-ended questions. "What if…" questions can enliven a conversation that is lagging and turn a boring conversation partner into a delightful one.

Author: Edward de Bono, MD, PhD
Source: Bottom Line Personal, February 15, 2007